It started sometime ago, I am not really sure when or how, but Sara and Lisa’s co-worker Jenny started exchanging gifts. Nothing too extravagant, a half eaten doughnut, a calculator ribbon, little things like that. Just to show each other that they care. Well, Sara up the ante big time by giving Jenny an extra special gift… Here is the note Sara wrote.
Dearest Jenny:
Let me tell you. That Calculator Ink you gave me just swept me off my monster feet. I still have it right here, and every time I look at calculators, I think of you. It just breaks my heart that that is my only evidence of your existence currently in this world. Let me tell you something. Every time you go to bed, I bet you would like to have a little company, right. (Don’t worry, I ain’t a perv.) Well, knowing that the half-eaten doughnut I gave you wasn’t enough, I figured it was about time for me to upgrade your gifts. I told this creature that you were the best, and I told him ALL about you. It made him teary. So for days, and weeks, and months he labored, sweated, suffered and cried just to give you this. Honestly, I think you should give him a little credit. After all, all I did was crack him with a whip if he slept or took a lunch break.
Anyway, one morning I woke, and right in the middle of his house, was the present. Just lying their like a helpless, hungry puppy in the road. Excited, I reached into the CAGE and pulled it out. Now you probably are getting really anxious to know what it is. Here goes: A Golden egg made by a pure bred Swan and a Flamingo. NAH just messing. It’s 10x better. What soon will lie in your hands, is a Clear, Genuine, limited edition Western Garter Snake leftover epidermis, or snake skin. My mother, being your most awesome and cherished alter ego, (So I’ve heard.) has told me about your love of miniature serpents. And, knowing that I have rightful ownership of one, I knew that I just had to get you one.
This gift is so delicate, I place it in your hands with no regret, for I know that you are worth trusting. Like I said before, this is a limited edition; special and rare. I beg of you to take good care of Nimby’s dead epidermis, because he misses it more than I do. Take care, Jenny, and write me back anytime.
With adulation, infatuation, inclination, flatteration, and adoration :
Wilbur Driscoll.
(Or Lisa’s daughter. either one.)
P.S- And yes I said infatuation, not inFLATUTATION, or in other words, I didn’t mean you were like flatulence to me, which is excessive amounts of pressure through the anus, by the way.